Accepting the Inevitable

Today I spent a good chunk of my day at the Museum of Contemporary Art and I’ve decided that I should prescribe myself a healthy dose of art museums every few weeks or so. I love how inspired I am at the end of my gallery experiences. Art is one of my favorite things about humanity and participating in it by either creating or viewing it always fills me with joy. My anxiety about leaving Sydney is getting a bit uncontrollable, but today I felt a bit of inner peace when I vowed to seek out daily fun activities in whatever city I may end up in after Sydney. I’m also thinking about taking an art call class at UNCG so that I might continue to be inspired and express myself through creativity.
On Thursday I had the last class of my undergraduate career and as much as I can’t wait to leave the all-night cram sessions and essay writing in my past… I love to learn. I’ve begun making a list of things I’d like to do to keep my brain alive and active, and one of the first is to learn another language. Travel has become a huge priority in my life and there are only a few English speaking countries left for me to visit, so this means I need to become a better world citizen and break the mono-lingual stereotype that follows me as an American.

So I’ve been thinking really long and hard about my experience here in Sydney and I start to wonder how I’m going to be able to survive leaving this place. I’ve made so many amazing friends, been more independent than ever before, and become accustomed to having a rich culture and multitude of activities at my fingertips. I used to think that I couldn’t survive in a big city and that I might get swallowed up by the masses, but I’ve not only come out alive…I’ve thrived. Going to school in a small college town was amazing and I wouldn’t have changed my experience at ASU for the world, but my life is moving past college and I’ve discovered how much I love the city life. But I think more than loving the city, I just love the act of being in fresh surroundings and learning all about a new place.

In all of this deep thought that comes with trying to accept my inevitable departure I’ve come up with a theory about this experience that I’m having in this new city/country. It’s like a relationship, either love or friendship. At first everything is foreign to you and you have to learn all about the new place. In order to really get to know it you must let your guard down and put yourself fully into the act of learning. Then you finally become comfortable with your surroundings and fall in love them. It becomes routine and normal and the thought of living without this place is sickening. But then the end comes, your heart gets broken, and you go through withdraw. Your heart longs for the place where you feel comfortable and safe, but life moves forward and you must move with it. You must believe that it is possible to love again. You have to keep your head up and trust that the next city will show you new things about yourself and there you will meet more amazing people to share in experiences that you never could have dreamed about.
I have to keep reminding myself of this. I’ve survived worse things and I know it will only make me into a stronger person. But damn, I’m really going to miss this place and all of these beautiful people who have shared their last 5 months with me.